This is so important I will repeat it again, very big and loud:
Being happy has nothing to do with body size
You can be happy at 150kgs or 60kgs. You can be happy at a size 18 or size 6.
You can be miserable being the skinniest and fittest you’ve ever been in your life. You can be miserable whilst everyone asks how you are so in control.
Whether you are happy or sad is independent on how much you weigh. You will still have amazing experiences, and boring drudgery, with normal body image and no food issues.
You will still experience pain, loss, hurt, happiness, joy, exctasy, intimacy, amazingness, awe, sorrow regardless if you are thin or not.
Having food issues covers the belief that if you let go your life would fall apart, that feelings would all get too much and you will feel ashamed and bad forever.
Get out of your head for a second, ignore its chattering, and listen to the sounds around you. Birds, traffic, sirens, typing, breathing. Feel your feet on the floor, the texture of your chair, the coolness of the air.
Then ask yourself “Is anything actually wrong?”
Yes your parents may be overbearing, and you may feel alone, or your spouse has wound you up, but is anything majorly wrong?
In all of this you are an alive human being, who is messy flawed and unbelievably wonderful. You can have that essence regardless of your size. You need to stop starving your soul, and that will make you happier than any weight you could be.
As Geneen Roth says:
“Weight loss does not make people happy. Or peaceful. Being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a wildly successful diet is a colossal failure because inside the new body is the same sinking heart.”
Being happy is a choice to accept the way things are, face the challenges and your feelings that come up, and to look for the little glimpses of joy and perfection in your life before you miss them all.