That yearning and longing that often manifests itself in food obsession is the yearning for someone, something to tell you that everything will be alright. That there is a point to your existence, that everything will be OK, that you are loved unconditionally and someone will look after you. The wholeness you are seeking is the human desire of wanting to know it all, for everything to be mapped out with no unnecessary surprises, and we all freak out when life turns out not to actually be this way.
I have learned the hard way the unfortunate part of adulting is that no-one will turn to you and tell you it is all ok. It is up to you to fundamentally believe that it is and will be, even if it is not. Sadly there are things we can’t prevent, such as pain and death, but we can stop fighting them.
Once you allow yourself to feel that yearning for more, and to feel it viscerally, rather than hiding it underneath food, alcohol, makeup, TV, success, fame and all manner of other obsessions, you can embrace it.
Be brave. Ask how longing feels in your heart. Do you ache? Is it giant chasm? Is it a monster coming to swallow you whole?
Focus on where you feel in your body rather than your mind, and show up in the present alive moment. You are still alive.
Keep feeling every time you are overwhelmed and you will gradually feel more peaceful. It takes practice and persistence at feeling your emptiness, but this hollow doesn’t have to be scary or negative.
Once you have felt the yearning and know that it will not make you fall apart, you can begin to realise that you are whole, loved, and everything is fundamentally OK.
This covers emptiness more eloquently than I ever can.