I’m not very good at consistency with anything in my life. I find it difficult to stick to an exercise program, writing my blog, doing my makeup more than once a month. Wearing makeup makes me feel better and I know is taking care of my self-esteem through knowing I look okay, yet at 8am I’d much rather lounge on the sofa reading the internet on my phone.
Why don’t I invest my time better in myself? I’ve realised this is because deep down I don’t think I’m worth it. My brain goes on this monologue of “Well what’s the point putting makeup on you don’t look great anyway it’s vain and will only make you look younger, who do you think you are wanting to wear that eyeliner, you are not Madonna so don’t even try…” And so it goes on. You know the score.
But I love watching makeup videos on Youtube and would love to express myself in that way. I just need to have the courage to change my habits and have the belief that I am okay and bettering myself, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
My challenge to overcome my fears of looking after my appearance is to wear makeup every day. I’m starting small with minimal effort: just some concealer under my eyes, mascara, and a swipe of understated lipstick. Then I will work up through my comfort zone of what I think is too ‘obvious’. I don’t want to look like someone’s plastered my face, but I want to be confident in looking the way I want.
Self-worth and esteem are nothing to do with being vain or selfish, they are a form of respect that you give yourself. And once you have respect for yourself, you will have more humility and respect for others. You are not at the bottom of the food chain, you are in a position to help others if you feel you are worth it.
And I am the first person that needs to start taking this on board.
I am enough!