What is the meaning of life?
When you remove food from your life what is left?
Why can I not stop obsessing over food?
I’m afraid I can’t answer all these questions, but I have a story to tell.
If you are on this blog you know how food has a personality for you. It’s like a bitchy friend who’s there for you sometimes but then stabs you in the back later. For years, it was all I thought about, starting from the fatal Google on how to feel fuller for longer coz I was fed up of being hungry all the time. It spiralled quickly into thinking about food, planning, and binging constantly, and berating myself that tomorrow I would get it together. Constant calorie tracking, and a googling nutrition, weight loss blah blah blah.
When I found out about intuitive eating and gave it a go, all my hobbies had shrunk in my mind, and I was no longer interested. I realised that the crux of being able to recover from food obsession was to turn that obsession onto something else, more constructive.
For a whole year I could not do it.
There was a big gaping void in my life where food had been and it was so easy to slip back into what I knew could fill that gap and focus. So instead of researching disordery food stuff, I researched recovery instead. That became my new obsession. Constantly wanting the best quick fix, and researching like mad.
Then I realised to be truly free I had to let go of it all.
This is, then, the point of my tale. Let go.
No googling intuitive eating, thrice daily hours of blog reading. Nada. Limit yourself to once a day tops, and trust yourself that you can get on with your life. Think about what you did before your food obsessions, however deeply it’s buried in your past, and what got you going. Force yourself to think about something un-food related every time an obsessive thought pops into your mind.
Let go of the fear, and trust yourself that the only way to be free is to focus on the other wonderful things in life that you love.